My Heart's In My Throat

My hearts in my throat
Lord, what should I say?
One moment in time
Then he'll walk away
Don't let me miss it
Opportunity lost
My silence - expensive
Too great the cost…….

A poor soul so lost
Stumbling and dazed
Finding his way….
In humanity's maze
I have directions
I could show him the way
If only the words come
Lord, what should I say?

The broken of heart
Lost in their grief
A life full of promise
Cut so brief
Lamenting…weeping
Dreams crushed today
A loved one just died
Lord, what should I say?

Suddenly it comes…
Confident! Bold!
It comes like a fire
Shut up in my bones
It's His words, not mine
I know what to say!
"I have the answer!
I know the way!"

Life words from heaven
Out of me flow
Strumming the heart strings
Touching the soul
Life words from heaven
Not mine, just His…….
I am His mouthpiece
For a time such as this………………

~Dawn Benson
June 20, 2008

Esther 4:14 "And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

Jury Duty Is Finally Over

Well, it's over. After 5 days in court it is finally finished! This morning we found the lady guilty of theft ($151,000) against a mentally handicaped man, age 58. This afternoon we finished the sentencing part of the trial where we sent her to jail on two different counts for 5 years each and also fined her $10,000. That was a very difficult and emotional thing for me. I was heartbroken for both the victim and the defendant. Call me an old softy but I couldn't help it. Haven't slept much for the last couple of nights... just keep running everything over in my head. I can only pray for her now but I was so sad when they took her away to jail. (Can't get that picture out of my head.)

It is a fearful thing to hold someone's future in your hands...........

I Won!! (Ahhh ...I guess......)

You've gotta be kidding! I never win anything!! But this time I did! I couldn't believe it when they called my name. There were 60 others sitting there with me but it was my name that I heard! I had been sitting there ALL day long. We had answered questions, listened intently, fought to stay awake at times and squirmed in our seats. Finally, it was time for the verdict! They would call 12 names...mine was the first! "Mrs B---, would you please take your seat in the jury box." So I did and that is where I have sat for the past 2 days. It's a criminal case and I will be in that seat for some time to come. Possibly for a couple of weeks. I'm not allowed to talk about the case at all...to anyone... but I will say that it is interesting. I am a bit stressed because I am putting everything else on hold. Next week is our big annual ladies event. There is still much to do and I am being forced to delegate, delegate! That could actually be a good thing.... but it's really tough on me. Well, I'm off to bed cause I am exhausted after a long day in court! :-0

God Ain't Dead

Romans 12:12 –
“Let your hope keep you joyful,
be patient in your troubles,
and pray at all time.”

“Let your hope keep you joyful….”
Is there hope inside of me?
I feel like just a burnt out shell
A pile of charred debris

“Be patient in your troubles….”
You must be kidding me!
Trouble’s been my life, Lord
And trouble’s all I see!

Have you even noticed, God,
The kids are sick again?
The rent is due, the car is broken -
My patience wearing thin.

Is there gold in all my garbage
I’m draggin along behind?
Is there treasure in this trash?
A nugget yet to find?

And of course you have to add
“And pray at all time….”
I’ve tried that, God, and all I’ve got
Is silence for my time.

I know I’m ranting on and on
Drowning in the rain
Can you somehow show me
A purpose in this pain?

I’m knee deep in my troubles
My heart just feels like lead
Then a voice inside me whispers
“Hush child! God ain’t dead!”

He’s always been on time
Tho at times He may seem slow
The righteous aren’t forsaken
Nor the faithful man left low.

So I’ll stop my whining now
I’ll dry my tears instead
And trust that voice inside that says
“Hush Child! God ain’t dead!”

~Dawn

It's Worth It To Give!

I believe in missions!! It is the heartbeat of God! I was moved to tears with the tales of those who, in proclaiming the gospel, give up their very lives to stand for the cause of Christ! We have been in the middle of a Missions Convention. Today was the last service. It was simply awesome! The speaker told of the very first AG missionary to be raised up in Pakistan. Can you imagine, a missionary in Pakistan!! He was willing to put his life on the line to preach Jesus! Well, just this past month he was assassinated for his faith! Out of 1000 people who were at his funeral, 100 men and women came forward to say that they woud take his place! Amazing! Satan thought he could shut the message of this one missionary up but his plan backfired and instead there are now 100 voices to replace this one voice that was silenced!!

This years convention really inspired me to want to do more for missions! Out of every dollar we give, there are, on average, 3 people who will hears the gospel mesage!! It is worth every dollar!

Will we go to hell if we don't give to missions? No, but others will!

New Bethel - A Place of New Beginnings

You’ve walked this road before
You know each rut by heart.
Looking toward the finish line,
Will you make a brand new start?

You began with lofty dreams,
Reaching for the stars.
But now you drift, bruised and broken,
Careful to hide your scars.

Mistakes were made along the way,
Not proud of all you’ve done.
Retreating in the face of war
You dropped your sword to run.

Standing now on this threshold,
Looking back at where you’ve been….
Searching for the grace you need
To just begin again.

“Weary One, lift up your head....
Restless Soul, be still.
A new day is dawning
Just give to me your will.
Behold, I’ll do a new thing
I’ll make your pathway clear.
It will spring forth. Will you not know it?
The starting line is here….”

In this House - His sanctuary,
Oh, refreshing Spirit, rain
A place for “new beginnings”
A place to heal your pain…

Gramma's The Name.....Spoiling's The Game

It was fun having the girls spend the night last week-end! Every toy in the house was scattered in the livingroom for the entire time they were here. We played wth the doll house and all its accessories. We read stories. We colored in the middle of the floor. We molded snakes and balls from Play Doh. We sang and danced and giggled while watching Dora and Hannah Montana. So much fun! And I didn't clean any of the mess up until after they left! (I was never this "chilled" with my own kids!)

First thing Saturday morning after giving them a list of available breakfast foods, I asked them what they wanted to eat. Brylea just wanted cereal (sugarcoated, of course!) but Addie didn't even hesitate to say she wanted RAMEN NOODLES! For real? You're kidding, right? But she wasn't. After trying to coax her in a different direction, I thought, "Oh well, she's at Gramma's. It's only one day. Let Mom handle her nutrition when she gets home!" Ramen Noodles it was! My little three year old monkey ate the whole package all by herself.

Surely for lunch, I can convince them both to eat some "real" food but when lunch came along. Brylea asked for pancakes and Addie again insisted that all she wanted was Ramen Noodles!!!This time I didn't even try to convince either of them differently! After all, they are suppose to LOVE coming to Gramma's! I fixed pancakes and ramen noodles! Again, Addie ate every noodle and Brylea ate about 3-4 pancakes with syrup! They were very happy!!

Before any of you start lecturing me on children's nutrition, let me just say that I know, I know! But Gramma's my name and spoiling's my game!! So fun!

And then I sent them home to Momma!!

It's Gonna Be Great - 2008

It's hard to believe we are already 20 days into the new year! I look forward to this year with great expectancy! My hubby has announced this as the "Year of the Supernatural"! The supernatural is something we don't get unless God "shows up"! Already there have been several things that have happened that are just signs of things to come. There is excitement in the air! What will the months ahead hold? We are going to give Him every opportunity to work that we can. We will believe, pray and expect! "God, give us the gift of faith to believe for the supernatural!" Yep, 2008 - It's gonna be great!


Faith in itself is a miracle!
Can I really believe the unbelievable?
Miracle faith- it's a gift that's free
Simply believing what no man can see
He gives the measure that I need
And tho it's only the size of a mustard seed
Mountains must move and demons must flee
As that tiny seed takes root in me.

~Dawn B.

The Voice of God

The most incredible voice to hear is the voice of God. He doesn't always speak as loud as other voices. Sometimes he whispers and we have to be quiet to hear what he says. At other times He speaks with tones of thunder and can be heard above all the clamor.

At any volume, I want to hear His voice! I believe the secret to hearing is listening! I will listen. In the stillnes, I will listen. In the chaos, I will listen. And because I have tuned my ear to listen, I will hear!

I am ready. Speak Lord, for you servant is listening!